EMBRACING DARKNESS
I have been sheltering in place for well over a month now, and I am feeling numb. I am blessed with a comfortable home and a loving husband to share this time – so very fortunate to have what I need and able to reflect on this experience. So I feel guilty when I realize how anxious and depressed I am feeling. I chant affirmations like these, based on wisdom teaching me to embrace darkness, isolation, pain, and confusion, in order to bring meaning to my life:
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” - Kahlil Gibran
“There is no education like adversity.” - Benjamin Disraeli
“What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is your candle.” - Rumi
Yet I also find that I am desperate to shake myself out of this, turn my feelings around, and recharge my energy.
FINDING FLOW
I am craving “flow,” that optimal experience that Mihaly Csikzentmihalyi has described and researched. Csikzentmihalyi tells us that this state entails:
*Intense focus
*Ecstasy
*Clarity
*Confidence
*Timelessness
*Motivation
Wow – do I need this now!?! But how can I possibly generate this awesome sensation, especially when I feel the opposite?
FLOWING THROUGH MUSIC
I am very lucky. I have a piano – a piano that has been with me throughout much of my life, and that, at certain moments, has spawned all of those feelings that define flow. I don’t necessarily feel flow when I am practicing. But once I master a challenging piece of music that I really love, I find myself in a remarkable place of contentment. Sometimes I am playing around at the piano, and suddenly hear something beautiful. It is this melding of mastery and the challenge to my skillset that creates the fully immersive experience of flow.
You may not have a piano or other musical instrument around. But you always have your personal instrument with you - your voice. Perhaps you have something handy that can serve as a drum or percussive accompaniment to your favorite music. You also own a source of growth, known as creativity, that can be applied to any of your inner resources.
Think of something you have wanted to learn – like an instrument – or a skill you wished you had – like an ability to sing. Perhaps you are inspired by poetry, and would like to set some favorite poems to music. Maybe you journal or enjoy writing, and have a desire to turn the words into lyrics and set them to music. Have you always wanting to compose music? There’s an app for that!
Seriously, music stores and musicians are expanding their services and repertoires to include teaching online, developing new apps to make music-making more accessible, and even designing new electronic sounds and music.
HOW TO SOW FLOW
Here are some ways to turn the tide of feelings to flow with you:
* Give yourself a new challenge to learn a new instrument or piece of music.
* Develop your voice through vocal instruction, coaching, or online lessons.
* Check out music-making apps to provide a framework for your creative efforts.
* Learn to improvise.
* Connect with someone who loves music and can brainstorm with you about musical options.
* Sing, play, or improvise (through whatever connections you choose) with someone who is musical.
* Commit to learning a new song or piece of music right now!
* Master something new today!
You might have to take a risk to try something out of your wheelhouse. But who knows – maybe one of these paths will enable you appreciate that remarkable sensation of flow!
Here is an example of a short film that I created for broadcast in the Boston Hope Medical Center – a temporary hospital for COVID-19 patients. This collaboration with Dr. Maria Hernandez, who edited the film to include the rose images, made me flow all over! Enjoy “To A Wild Rose.”
The New Music Therapist’s Handbook has lots of examples of how music therapists help others to experience the joy and awe of music, even as they face significant life challenges.